France & Mindfulness
Going to sleep in my hostel, my brain was slowly adjusting to the magic of this experience. There, in my little twin bed nook in a bright youthful hostel in Marais Paris, I drifted off to sleep in the same space as six other humans from across the globe. Two people from Sudan, one from Korea going to school in Germany, another from Belgium, and two from Brazil going to school in Ireland. All of whom I discovered were there with the same purpose: to explore. It’s so wild to me that we can have completely different backgrounds, upbringings, cultures, lives, but still at the root of everything our humanness connects us. Under the language barriers, the varying experiences, the different interests, we actually have more in common than not at the core. It’s surprisingly simple, grounded, and connected.
Having an hour to get espresso and discuss life and families and travel with a magical woman from Athens, now living in Crete, currently solo traveling as well, who I happened to connect with that morning in my hostel and knew we had to spend even just an hour together getting to know each other before parting ways. Talking to my a roommate from China who lives in Spain, after having lived in New York amongst other places, who taught me more about China than I could ever read online or in a book. Hearing specific experiences from specific people taught me more about our different cultures, childhoods, and journeys than I could’ve ever learned in school or online. Chatting with a couple from Belgium one afternoon over a glass of rosé at a cafe about their lives and travels and baby. How the man named Ilario was born to a Spanish mother and Italian father, who speaks Italian, French, Spanish, Dutch, and a little German. I’ve never felt more upset for not paying more attention in my five years of what I now know was expensive Spanish class. Learning about wine in Saint Emilion from a wonderful guide named Remi with a couple from Austria and another couple from Ireland (I was fifth wheeling on Valentine’s Day, it was thrilling). Although, meeting two Canadian girls on the train who seemed to think they were on set for Euphoria reminded me why I wanted to leave the continent.
But there’s the other side of solo travel too. I’ve loved spending more time with myself and meeting some amazing people. But it definitely can get lonely at times. Some nights especially when I had an eventful day, I don’t feel like giving a waiter my order, handing someone my debit card for the fifth time that day, or making the effort to introduce myself to someone at a bar. Sometimes I just want a kitchen and a boring homemade meal. It’s easy to feel guilty to stop doing and exploring and learning. To lay in bed for a minute or stay in for the night. I don’t love living in vacation mode for so long. Now that week one has come to a close, I’m looking forward to finding that balance there. Finding grocery stores to grab a simple bite to eat and not speak to a soul for the night. Remind myself how much time I have left. I spent three hours this morning in an adorable coffee shop in Bordeaux and read for three hours, accidentally finishing my book, and it’s been one of my favorite mornings so far. As I mentioned before, it’s the balance that works best. I’m the type who needs to recharge my battery pretty often or I burn out, another part of myself I’m getting to know.
I’ve learned that finding my rhythm takes time. Noticing my mood shifts during a five hour wine tour, depending on my excitement or hunger or distractibility or contentment. Learning how to identify those and be mindful. Understanding, as my only travel buddy, what I want and need everyday to keep every moment intentional. Not spending all day planning tomorrow and next week. Saying “I’m in Bordeaux” aloud after not speaking a single word in five hours, grounding me and bringing me back to the little table in the delightful cafe in this gorgeous old city.